i wonder who should be ashamed
i have severed ties with the family i grew up with.
i always still wonder. do they think about me, i still think about them.
not with any kind of love, not for anyone of them.
i came to terms, hearing if one would die....how would i feel.
i would not cry, only as i do now sometimes.
i just never belonged in that family. my parents yes. not the siblings.
maybe it was me, my shame......see ..i never blame .
i guess i have to close that chapter forever. when i feel sad, i venture back.
in my way.......i bring back.........old memories, and attack.
not good for me, i suffer. the guilt.
not letting go completely. i am my parents daughter. i love them so.
i never blamed them for one bad thing in my world
i shall keep my parents love , as i have done all my life. inside.
i guess ......there is no turning back now.
i don't want to be mean to the siblings i grew up with. i don't want to be mean to anyone.
i like to remind ...make people think.
hehe..the joke is on me.
they care not. which is where i want to be.
it is not my shame. noone to blame.
perhaps one day..i will go home. sit down at the lake, let the lovely wind take me back.
to a lost memory,
i will smile and kiss the wind..remember the beautiful skies.
of days gone by.
